Not So Naïve Anymore
by FratPartyAtThePankakeFestival
Summary: Everyone knows Kenny's a whore. What they don't know is that Butters is his pimp. M for the fact that the entire story basically revolves around prostitution. Butters' POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** prostitution (lots of it, though most, if not all, will be on the business side), possible later Butters/Kenny, but I'm not promising anything there, otherwise no pairings whatsoever, Pimp!Butters

**Episodes of consequence:** "Raisins" is Season 7, Ep 14. "Butters' Bottom Bitch" is Season 13, Ep 9.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own South Park. Is that not what the concept of fanfiction implies.

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><p><em><strong>Not So Naïve Anymore<strong>_

_Everyone knows Kenny's a whore. What they don't know is that Butters is his pimp._

Butters' POV

It all started out very much like it did back in elementary. Except this time, we're eighteen, and this is on a whole other level. It really helped that I had done all this before, though, and this time I actually knew what I was doing and what I was getting myself into beforehand.

I seem to recall that I was actually pretty good in the business back then, despite my naivety and the fact that I was, like, nine; and it was only due to a personal decision on my part that I got out. I'm not so naïve anymore. I know now that those girls I picked up later on weren't selling kisses; that they were actual prostitutes. Good god. Looking back, I can't believe how naïve I really was. Psh, $2000 for _kisses?_ I don't _think_ so. What the hell. Then again, I was nine. And nobody ever actually told me what a pimp was. I guess they didn't really have a reason to; when I walked into that conference acting like I knew everything, I never gave anybody a reason or a chance to assume otherwise. And I know I probably could have asked Kenny about it, but again, I never thought I needed to. At least I had street cred, even other pimps respected me.

Anyway, enough about how much I thought I knew, and how little I really did. I came here to talk about now. I got to now by starting about a year ago. I was seventeen and about a month away from graduation. I had no plans for college or anything like that. If anything, I would have just taken a few classes at community college while flipping burgers someplace that smelled like grease.

I'll say now that a year ago I was a very different person than I am today. I was still the innocent and naïve little boy who was picked on by some and protected by others. I don't think I really noticed it then, but I'm really glad that's not where I am anymore. Fosse or Bill would trick me into trash-canning myself, and then Stan or Kyle would pull me out while Craig or Tweek went to go beat them up for me. I'm really glad I had people to stick up for me, but I don't like that they had to. Now I can stand up for myself, though I do keep Eric around as a bodyguard. It's mostly because he was bugging me for a job, and I was not about to put him on the streets. Most of my girls can handle themselves. But now I'm getting ahead of myself.

A year ago. I know it's likely because everyone was just trying to protect me like always, but I seriously don't know how I didn't find out about it before then. Kenny. He had been whoring himself out around town. For the better part of a year already. By the time I found out, it seemed like it was common knowledge among our classmates. I think I was shocked, though I really shouldn't have been. He's always been the complete opposite of me. Lack of money, plus love of sex, a prostitute makes. Anyway, classes had just ended, a group of us lingering by lockers, and someone made a joke or a reference or something to it. I didn't know, so I didn't get it. So I asked. But nobody wanted to say it aloud. I kept bugging them, asking what they were talking about, until finally Kenny pulled me aside and told me himself, apologizing profusely. Not so much for having kept it from me for so long, but more for that I had to find out.

It clicked almost immediately after. Same day, half an hour later, alone in my room, it clicked. I could do the same for Kenny that I had done for that girl all those years ago, and restart the whole business. I could be his pimp. Heck, it would give me something to do after high school.

Now, I'm a 5'4", little guy with light blond hair, light blue eyes, and not a lot of muscle, who wears bright colors, and occasionally hairclips and Hello Kitty merch. Anybody could look at me and "pimp" would be the last thing on their minds. But I had done it before, and I knew I could do it again.

So I went to Kenny. Right then and there. Didn't even say anything, just grabbed the keys, rushed out the door, hopped in my mom's car, and drove straight to Kenny's. Pretty sure my parents were yelling at me, probably something about grounding, but I just tuned them out as I walked out the door. I couldn't really be bothered to give a fuck. I only had one thing on my mind at that moment, and there was no room for parental threats. I don't even know if I got grounded for that when I eventually came back; not like it mattered at that point. It had already begun. And no amount of grounding was going to stop it.

Back on track, I waited on the McCormick front steps for the door to open.

"Butters? What are you doing here?" Kenny asked, confused, but still smiling. Not like I could blame him. I never really just showed up at people's houses on my own; I usually waited for them to come to me to get dragged along on their escapades.

"Um, well, I kinda need to talk to you, Kenny. Can I come in? Er…" I glanced around to see past him into the house, "Is anyone else home?"

"Nah. Well, nobody conscious, anyway. Come on in."

I followed him back to his room and shut the door behind us, where he flopped down on his bed and gestured to a chair I could sit in. I sat down for all of two seconds before getting up again out of nervousness.

Kenny raised an eyebrow at me, "So, what's up?"

"Oh. Yes. Well, um. It's…" I trailed off.

"Yes?"

"It's about… i-it's about you bein' a…" I trailed off again.

"Whore?"

"Prostitute."

"Uh huh. Okay, what about it? Again, I'm really sorry you had to find out about it—"

"No!" I had to cut him off. "No, it's not that. Please stop apologizing. It's nothin' like that at all."

"… Okay. So, what is it?" Kenny asked slowly.

"Actually, I'm a little embarrassed as to why I'm here. I'm not sure you'll believe me; it's really not like me at all," I began with a blush, my old nervous habit of rubbing my knuckles together making an appearance.

"You're not," pause and raise brows, "… are you?" he questioned in disbelief.

My eyes widened at the insinuation. "Oh god no! I wanna be your pimp!" I blurted out to avoid any more misunderstanding. I mean, seriously? That was twice already he'd gone ahead and assumed. If I let him keep guessing, he'd never get it. Immediately I was blushing, my hands flying to my mouth.

I had no idea how he would react. Well, really, I had acted so impulsively that I hadn't given much thought to how he might react. I wouldn't have thought he'd be mad or anything, but then I also didn't expect him to jump up and celebrate either. I just didn't know. I didn't even know if he already _had_ a pimp; he'd been doing it for a while, though; he must have. And we weren't exactly the closest of friends, but I figured I knew him well enough that he wouldn't beat the crap out of me or something, not that he was the type to do anything like that anyway. I could only hope that he'd take me seriously.

"What?" he finally asked in breathy incredulity after a long, shock-filled silence.

Taking in a deep breath, I slowly and calmly repeated myself, "I want to be your pimp."

He slowly got up from his bed and made his way over to me, "Are you serious? I mean… this is like, completely unlike you, Butters."

"Then I guess you really don't know me as well as you thought you did. Yes. I am completely serious," I deadpanned, looking up at Kenny to meet his gaze exactly, without a hint of doubt.

"Well… Christ, do you even know what you're suggesting here?"

"Yes, Kenny, I know exactly what I am doing. Hard to believe, I know, whatever. But for once, this is a subject about which I am not ignorant. I've done this before," I stated deliberately, knowing exactly the response this would provoke.

"What? You've _done_ this? What the hell are you talking about?" Kenny asked the inevitable, clearly taken aback.

Sighing, I began to explain, "Do you remember in elementary school? There was this girl sellin' kisses out behind the portables?"

"Yeah, I remember her. Sally something or other, right? What about her?"

"Well, after I got my kiss from her, I ended up gettin' her more customers for a cut. Then I expanded by gettin' more girls to sell kisses."

"That was _you? You're _the one who started all that?" he asked, his eyes widening even more than they had been this whole time.

"Yup," I said, finally sitting down.

"Whoa. I had no idea. Major props, man. You had a pretty good thing going there," he said, following my lead and falling back down on his bed, looking a little numb, like he was still processing this new information.

"Thanks, Ken," I said, starting to relax, nerves leaving me. He was taking this well, though I hadn't yet gotten an answer, but that was to be expected. "Yeah, I was actually pretty good at it, we were makin' quite a bit. I had a rep in the business, too, if you can believe it. I'm not even close to sure how word got out – it might have been that pimp convention, now that I think about it, I don't know – but soon enough other girls started coming to me, girls not from our school, girls off the street. By the time I shut down, half my crew were actual whores."

"You went to a pimp convention?" was the initial response, with a smirk. Then came the delayed reaction, "Wait, what? Holy fuck! You had real whores working for you? Damn, Butters!"

"Well, to be fair, back then I didn't know that," I answered shyly, blushing lightly. "I mean, I was nine, I didn't know what sex even was. I thought sellin' kisses was the extent of what bitches an' hoes _did_. I just thought those girls were just really good at sellin' kisses, with all the money they were bringin' me. Only later, after I'd learned what prostitutes really were, did I figure it out."

"Alright, point taken, I'll give you that. Still, that's impressive. Pretty hardcore for age nine," he agreed.

"Well, they had come to me 'cause word spread that I respected my bitches. They liked that, and that's where my reputation came from. And if you join me and let me be _your_ pimp and help me get started again, I'll maintain that rep," I implored, getting back to the main point at hand. I had known that I would have to explain, but I still wanted an answer.

He gave a slow sigh, leaning back and looking down slightly. "Well," he began, "I don't know. I just… I mean, this is pretty weird. An hour ago, when I told you I was a whore in the first place, you were that innocent, naïve little kid that we all tried to protect from the harshness of the real world. But now… you're a fucking _pimp_… and a _good_ one, at that. God, I had no idea. You know more about this than anyone could have imagined."

"Actually," I couldn't help it, "I'm pretty sure Stan, Kyle, and Eric knew at the time. In fact, Kyle's the one who told me I was a pimp in the first place. I think they pushed it out of their minds, though. They probably don't remember me doing all that anymore, so you're probably still right."

"Huh, go figure. Guess I was preoccupied by the girls themselves. Ah, so much well-spent money," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, probably…" I had to agree there. "Do you want some time to think about it?"

"… Yeah. But don't go anywhere," he added quickly. "I may need you here to answer any more questions. I think I'm still in shock here."

"Alrighty." After a pause, I continued, "Actually, I had a few questions for you, too, if ya don't mind. Uh, besides the obvious, 'will you work for me' question, I mean."

"Shoot. Might help me think it over to keep the conversation going."

"First, I wanted to know if, well, do you already have a pimp?"

"Well, yeah. I woulda thought you'd already know that, taking what you just told me into account."

"I kinda figured you did, as long as you've been doing this. I just wanted to make sure, you know? I know it'll be hard to leave him if you decide to come with me."

"Hmm… he can deal. Ultimately, it's my decision. He can't stop me from leaving if I so choose."

I let silence fall for a moment or two, "… What's he like?"

"Oh. He's alright. I mean, he's not particularly nice, but he doesn't yell or hit us. He's… I suppose he's lenient, but not too forgiving. He'll work with you to get you where you want to be, compromise, but if you screw up, he'll stick you in the seediest parts of town, making sure all you get is the cheap scum," he told me, adding with a shudder, "That's not nice. I've been there. Once only, thank god, but still, that was _not_ fun."

I shuddered as well; then raised my eyebrows a little, "Only once?"

"It was just some stupid mistake I made early on that I easily could have avoided, so after that first time, I made sure to avoid any more stupid mistakes. Not to brag, but I am one of the best out there," he said smugly. '_Not to brag_,' my ass. He _so_ wanted to brag. But I didn't mind; he was speaking the truth. I knew that even then. And I certainly know it now.

"I'll bet," I chuckled, smiling at him.

"It's true!" he defended.

"I believe you!" When the look on his face didn't change, I rolled my eyes and continued, "Look, of course you are one of the best. I wouldn't have come to you had I thought any different. I'm serious about this, and if it's going to work, I need serious players on my team."

He looked at me for a long time before speaking again, nodding a little, as it to convince himself, "You really are serious. And I think you'd really pull it off, too. And I _never_ thought I'd be saying that about _you pimping_." I shrugged at him with a look that said, 'there ya have it,' and he sighed, glancing down, "So… if I were to accept your offer… what would happen, exactly?"

"We would talk business." I was feeling a _lot_ more confident by this point, posture casually relaxed in the desk chair. "Honestly, I haven't had much time to think about that – I came over here practically the second it hit me – but I know from before exactly what needs to be done, so I have a plan in place without even really thinking about it."

"How solid are we talking?"

"Like, plan out working around school, scheduling, then plans for after graduation (seeing as it's only about a month away), makin' sure we both _do_ graduate (I don't want you endin' up a dropout), hire on more girls, talk money, find a location to work out of, tell my parents I got a job of some sort that's not this (I _really_ don't wanna get grounded for this, I'm treatin' it as my chance to _end_ that crap), network the underground… like that solid. I'll think of more."

"Oh, wow. You weren't kidding. You really do have everything planned out. And all that was just off the top of your head? Like, you didn't have to think about that at all?"

"It's all comin' back to me; I'm gettin' back into the mindset," I shrugged. "Most of that, I did back then. I got all the way to the hiring on more girls part on my own. Then I found out about the convention, and that took care of the rest. Meeting other pimps covered networking, and a few of them were even nice enough to teach me the basics right then and there at the party. Overall, it kinda happened as if it was second nature to me. I didn't have to think about it to make it happen then; I don't have to think about it to make it happen now."

"Dude, you just keep impressing me more and more with each sentence. I think I have to stop you before you overload my brain," he declared, lying back on his bed.

"I'll let you have a moment," I smirked.

Kenny laid there for several minutes with his eyes closed, brows furrowed in thought, while I watched him, waiting patiently. He was beautiful. I knew it wasn't an easy decision I was asking him to make. He was probably doing pretty well with his current pimp, and I really had no way of knowing if he could do better with me. I just hoped he thought he might. And not half an hour ago, I was just a naïve friend, while now I was asking something of him that was probably outside of his comprehension of that friend. He would have _never_ expected anything even _close_ to this to come from me. Cartman, sure. Craig, why not. Heck, Kyle even, before me. So it was easy to understand his current lack of response to the situation.

Finally, he sat back up. He looked at me, reading my face, for a good long moment. He spoke at last, words forming slowly, "Okay, you probably know that this was the last thing I expected from you when you walked in my front door earlier. You've always been the sweet little boy, innocent to the harsh world, who we've always had to protect and… walk on eggshells around, phrasing things delicately so we wouldn't taint that. But in the time you've been here, you've managed to turn that upside down. I'll tell ya one thing; I'll never underestimate you again. After this, I don't think anything you told me could surprise me anymore. It's almost like that persona we've always known is some kind of… reputation you've been keeping up or something. Come to think of it, innocence _is_ your reputation. Though, now I can't tell if it's fake or not. Why someone would fake such a level of naivety, I can't grasp. It would only further taint your image."

"It wasn't fake. But I can see how you might come to that conclusion," I told him honestly, taking his pause to interject momentarily.

He nodded, and then pushed past it, letting a grin spread, "But you are a good friend, Butters. You're still sweet, and anyone who's spent any time with you loves you (other than Cartman, but he doesn't count)."

This made me smile, "Aw heck, Kenny, thanks. And Eric means well. At least, he thinks he does. He means well for himself, and he misunderstands that for general well-meaning," I allowed, though in the back of my mind, some small part of me wanted to pull out my old Chaos persona and slap 'the Coon' around a bit.

"I know. There's nothing we can do about that," Kenny sighed. He paused to get back on topic, "But you. You're still my friend, and I care about you and don't want to see you get hurt out there. But then, I have to remember everything you just told me. And with that in mind, frankly, I think you can handle yourself. At least, you have the means to make sure you have back-up and protection so nothing can even get close enough to harm you. And that says power. And in this… industry, power is important. So… I really do think you have what it takes. And… I… I want to help you get there. I want to be there to see you do it. I'll do it," he finished with a determined nod.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: **Enter characters you won't know if you haven't seen the previously mentioned Episodes of Consequence. These aren't really warnings anymore, are they? They stopped being warnings after the word "prostitution". Anyway, I feel I should mention here that zero to none of my knowledge on this subject is any kind of first hand, or even second hand really. Any and all prostitution related knowledge portrayed in this story comes from either outside sources (i.e., TV and internet) or common sense (really, it's not that hard to know to use a condom). So really, I may not know what the hell I'm talking about at times. I'm thinking the most shaky areas will be the money stuff. I really don't know how to figure out prices and such accurately without going out and finding a prostitute, and I am just not up for that. Someone else wants to fill me in on that, be my guest. As interesting and helpful as everything on prostitution. procon. org was (extremely, go check it out), it doesn't really have anything on the money.

**Review Replies:**

Deadly Sharpies: I would've replied the day I got your review, but the link was being stupid, so I think I'm just going to reply to all reviews here. Anyway, teehee! Thanks! :D Glad to have answered your wish for a non-naive Butters.

All that aside, enjoy Chapter 2.

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><p><em><strong>Not So Naïve Anymore<strong>_

_Chapter 2**  
><strong>_

I sat there gaping at him for a moment, smile spreading and excitement growing, "Really?"

"Yes, really," he reaffirmed.

I jumped up and ran over to him, giving him the biggest hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Ohmygosh! Thank you thank you thank you, soooo much! _Thank you_ for giving me this opportunity! I _promise_ I will make it worth your while! Thank yooooou!" I squealed.

Kenny laughed cheerfully, hugging me back and returning the kiss to my cheek. "Of course. You're welcome. From now on, it's _anything_ for you," he told me, voice full of sincerity.

I finally pulled back to let him breathe, and giggled a little when I looked at him. "Oh my god, that's right," I murmured offhandedly, and took a deep breath in to calm myself.

"So, uh, I guess I should make a call, huh?"

"You mean to your old…?" I trailed off, giggling again. Just the idea that I was now a legitimate pimp was still sinking in, energy buzzing through me.

He nodded.

"Yeah. Do that," I said, waving him off to do what he needed to do. "Imma go over somethin' in my head," I added, wiggling my now jittery fingers at my head.

"Right," he said, pulling out his cell to make the call that would make this all official.

While he talked to his soon-to-be-former pimp, I ran over the more immediate plan briefly. When he hung up, I asked the time, feeling silly when he just looked over at the clock on his nightstand.

"Quarter to five."

"Right. Umm…" I confirmed, still formulating the evening's plans. "TGIF, huh? So, how'd he take it?"

"Heh, yeah. He was disappointed, sure, but like I said, he'll deal. You don't have to worry about him coming after me or anything."

"Good, that's good. Alright. You don't have to work tonight. We've got other forms of work to deal with. Grab a notebook, you're coming with me," I informed him, gesturing for him to follow me out to the car, somehow already easily slipping into the roll.

Hastily grabbing said notebook and a pen, he traipsed down the hall after me, "Where we goin'?"

"To pick up a few more girls," I tossed over my shoulder. "But we'll need to make a few calls first; I don't know where any of the girls I have in mind live, and I don't know offhand if I have all their numbers. You might, though."

"Ah. Explains the notebook," he mumbled. "Um, hey, do your parents know you're here?"

"Heh! No. Why the hell would I do that?" I scoffed and climbed into the car, continuing once Kenny had climbed in next to me, "I ran out of the house without a word. I think they tried to ground me on my way out the door. Wouldn't have told 'em where I was going even if they _had_ managed to stop me. No, all they know is that I took Mom's car."

"Right, duh. I guess all those years of getting grounded for nothing have finally caught up with you, huh?"

"You could say that. Alright, ya got that notebook? 'Course ya do. Make a list, leaving room for phone numbers and addresses for each." He nodded and opened up the notebook. "'Kay. Sally, Lexus, Mercedes, Porsche," I listed, waiting to let him catch up. "Got 'em?"

"Sally, Lexus, Mercedes, Porsche," he recited back to me. "Got 'em."

"Alright," I said, pulling out my phone and ignoring the twelve missed calls. There was a reason I left the damn thing on silent. "Now, I think I might still have Lexus and Sally in here, but just in case, I want you to check your phone for any of these girls, too. If you find 'em, write it down."

"Gotcha," he said, pulling out his own phone as well. Kenny's got a _lot_ of numbers; it wouldn't surprise me if he found any or all of them.

I found Lexus as he scribbled the first number, and informed Kenny of this as I hit the 'talk' button and waited for the ring.

A bubbly, almost Valley Girl voice picked up, "Hi, sweetie! Who is this?"

"Hi, Lexus? I don't know if you remember me, it's Butters. I'm in your class, and we sort of dated a little, back in elementary school?"

"Oh yeeeah, I think I remember you. You came to Raisins a lot. Little blond kid, right? Hey there, sweetie! How are you?"

I winced, ignoring the fake cheer in her voice and the fact that she kept calling me 'sweetie', even though I knew I meant nothing to her after she broke my heart, "Yeah, that's me. Hey, listen, I need to talk to you. Is it okay if I come over?"

"I dunno… well, I suppose there's no harm in it. Sure, I guess so. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Great! I'll tell you when I get there. Also, I don't know where you live. Could I get your address?" She told me as I got Kenny's attention and repeated it to him so he could write it down, "Great, thanks. I'll be right over," and hung up. I started the car, speaking now to Kenny, who had, in fact, found all four numbers in that time, "Alright, that's a start. Let's head over."

It didn't take long; South Park's fairly small, and we knew our way around. Jumping out of the car with Kenny on my tail, we headed up the front steps. The door flung open and I was pulled into a hug, "Butters! I'm so glad you called me! Come in, come in!"

I exchanged a look with Kenny, then shrugged and gestured for him to follow. Once inside, I tried to speak up, "Um, this is—"

"Ohmygod Kenny! I didn't know you were coming, too!" she exclaimed, jumping him as well.

He laughed, turning on his infamously charming smile, "Yup, here I am. Hi, Lexus." He turned to me with a knowing smile, nodding, "I think this is gonna work out juuust fine."

I returned the smile and nod, and turned back to the overly happy redhead, "So, Lexus, we came over to talk to you…?" I reminded, hinting that we should maybe go sit down so we could, you know, _talk._

"Oh! Right! Come, come. Sit, sweetie," she said leading us to the living room and falling into an armchair.

Sitting on the couch with Kenny, I asked, "So, um, are your parents home?"

"No, not yet. They won't be home for an hour or so."

I nodded, "Now then, I know this is gonna sound odd, and probably very unexpected, coming from me—"

"_That's_ the understatement of the year," Kenny interjected.

"Yes, thank you for that, Kenny. Moving on. So, I suppose I should just – should I just say it? – I'll just say it," I briefly questioned Kenny before answering myself. By now, we had Lexus thoroughly confused. "I want you to work for me," I phrased delicately.

"Huh? Work for you? What do you mean? What kind of work?"

"Do you have a job right now, Lexus?"

"Yeah, I upgraded to Hooters. Why?"

"Oh, that's just _perfect_," Kenny threw in, chuckling.

I chuckled with him, nodding, "Okay, that's fine. Keep working there. I'll be sure not to interfere with your hours," I told her, unable to stop giggling with Kenny.

She just stared at us, confused and wondering what was so funny.

Finally, I calmed myself enough to continue, "Well, now that I know where you work, I don't have to worry so much about insulting you with this question. How do I put this? I recently became a pimp, and I was wondering if you would care to join us and work for me."

And now the confusion was shock. "W-what?"

"He's dead serious. Believe me, I went through the same thing less than an hour ago," Kenny assured her. "So, you wanna be a hooker?" he asked less delicately.

"I-I don't know what to say…" she stammered.

"Well, it's not a far cry from Hooters. And you're hot. Working there, you were bound to get picked up sooner or later. Better by Butters than some creep, right?" he offered.

"W-what would I have to do?"

I answered this time, "Um, sleep with people for money? You know, prostitution? You don't have to do it if you're uncomfortable with it, but I think you have potential here."

"Oh…! Really?" she asked, blushing.

"Definitely," Kenny agreed. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. Butters here knows what he's doing."

"Mhmm," I nodded.

"Wow. Um, thanks. But I really don't know; this is quite a decision to make so suddenly."

"I know; take your time. And feel free to ask if you have any questions."

"I'll save you some time, though, by telling you to just trust me when I say that, even though he may not look it, I think Butters is going to make an excellent pimp," Kenny added some flattering final thoughts. I blushed, but didn't say any more.

She didn't actually think about it for long, considering Kenny's persuasive words for maybe half a minute before blurting excitedly, "I'll do it! Yes!"

"Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting her to choose a path she didn't really want to choose.

"Yes! To be honest, it's something I've considered before. And Kenny's right; better you, Butters, than some creep I don't know or trust. I trust you, Butters. So I'll place my life in your hands," she explained.

"Thanks, Lexus! That means a lot to me! I won't let you down," I thanked her with a grateful smile.

"I believe it."

"Awesome. I will need to discuss business matters with you, but we'll do that a bit later. Do you still keep in touch with Mercedes and Porsche? And do you work tonight?" I moved on with the subject.

"Yeah, they work with me at Hooters. We all go in at eight tonight."

"Mm, perfect. Can you do me a favor and call them and ask if they would be interested in joining us as well? Then I'd like you to meet us at Shakey's in about an hour at six. Bring them with you if they say yes," I instructed.

"Sure, I can do that," she agreed.

"Great," I said, standing and motioning for Kenny to do the same. "We'll see you in an hour, then."

Lexus walked us to the door, giving us goodbye hugs.

Back in the car, Kenny spoke, "That went well. Good call there, having her get Porsche and Mercedes for you. I take it Sally's next for us?"

"Yup," I said, pulling out my cell again. "Hmm, doesn't look like I have hers."

Kenny handed me the notebook and I added her number, along with the other two I was missing, and made the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Sally?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"It's Butters. I know it's been a while, but I wanted to talk to you."

"Bu… Butters…? Oh, wow. It _has_ been a while. I don't think I've talked to you since that thing in elementary."

"A-heh, that's actually kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. But not over the phone. Can I come over?"

"Really? Sure, sure. Come on over. Do you need directions?"

"No, no. Just an address. We'll find it," I recited again for Kenny and hung up. Pulling out of the driveway, I murmured, "I think this'll be the easiest one; we won't have to do any explaining or convincing." Kenny laughed, and we went on our way.

A few minutes later, we pulled up, and soon enough we were sitting in Sally's room with the door shut. We had greeted her parents on the way in and then made our way upstairs. Now we sat in a circle on the floor of her room.

"So, what's up?" Sally asked.

"It has to do with the old… company. You remember…" I said, getting right into it.

"Yeah, of course I remember."

"You're likely the only one," Kenny piped in.

"Heh, well, so far, anyway. But, yeah, probably," I agreed. "Anyway, I'm restartin' the business, so I figured I'd see if you wanted in."

"Huh. Restarting? As in, you're pimping again?" Sally asked with an eyebrow raised.

"_Finally!_" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up and pulling her into an awkward, seated hug. "Someone who will believe it without having to question it!"

She giggled, and Kenny rolled his eyes, "Geez, soooorryy. 'S not _my _fault you seem so innocent all the time."

Laughing, I told him, "I know, I know. I'm just givin' ya a hard time. But to answer your question, Sally, yes. I am pimpin' again. 'Course, you know, now it'll actually be… sex, not just kisses, but I suppose you figured that much out."

"Yes, I figured. Well, I think that's great that you're getting back in the game, Butters! I know we were doing well when we gave it up. Hell, you could be great at it now. Yeah, I'll join you, and I'll help you see it all the way through."

"Awesome! You didn't have to think about that too long…" I commented.

"Well, I mean, I'm in the same place as you here; I've done this before with you, and I know it'll work."

"Damn. You know how long it took him to convince me of that?" Kenny asked rhetorically, to which Sally and I laughed.

"Well, like she said, we've done this together before. Sorry, Kenny, you'll just have to trust us on it," I shrugged.

"Oh, believe me; after that mini-lecture on running a good prostitution ring you gave me earlier, I do."

"Aw, you know you didn't mind hearin' it."

"Nah, 'course not."

We exchanged a smile, and I turned back to Sally. Checking the time, I went back to the evening's plans, "Alright, we got a little over half an hour, so I guess we'll catch you up." She nodded and I continued, "So, I'm getting back in it because of Kenny here, really. When I found out he was a prostitute, it reminded me of our thing in elementary, and from there I just took that idea and went straight to Kenny with it. And so, here we are. I've already got Lexus, one of those Raisins girls—"

"Ooh, good choice," Sally praised.

"Yes, well, I got her to join us, and now she's gettin' in touch with a few of the other girls from there, so hopefully we have three others meetin' us at Shakey's at around six. You are free tonight, yes?"

"If anything, I would have just gone to a movie or something with friends, nothing I can't blow off," she shrugged. "I figured you'd want me along tonight."

"All too right. Good. Now, before we head over there, I want to set this with the two of you," I said, speaking to both Sally and Kenny now. "Kenny, you're my number one. Without a doubt, you are the most experienced, and I also don't doubt that you are one of the best out there currently, so I want to keep you at the top. Sally, you're my number two. You've worked with me before, so I know the potential you have. Don't let those bitches push you around; let them know where you stand with me. We three have a history, and I want to keep you close."

They both nodded in response, Sally adding, "I understand," then, turning to Kenny, she said with a smile, "Looks like we'll be working closely together. I look forward to it!"

We all couldn't help but smile. We could tell this was going to work out well between us.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings:** What? There's still a need for that? Naw. That's just my label for author's notes at this point. Anyhoo, yay! Friday finally comes to an end! I really can't wait to get to writing Monday, but then Saturday decided to be a bitch. So since Saturday's being a bitch, and rl happened, the next Naive update might be later than I wanted. I've been particularly busy these past few weeks, what with moving back in with my parents and trying to find a job. -_-' And whenever I _have_ found time to write, the little that that's been, other stories decided to throw things at me, so, yeah...

Moving on... I've noticed a difference in this from most other stories that have prostitution in them on here. They mostly either have that Kenny's a whore and it just is and no one bats an eye, or whoever's doing it isn't doing it by choice/was forced into it and the ultimate goal is for them to try to get out; while in my story, everyone's there of their own free will/because they want to be and instead the ultimate goal is for everyone to join Butters. The difference must be Butters. In the others, Cartman is usually the pimp, and obviously, who wants to hook under Cartman. That would be hell. Butters makes it fun. "A pimp who respects his hoes? Sign me up!" Hah! That'd be a pretty awesome, hilarious plot: Cartman and Butters are both pimps, and Butters ends up stealing all of Cartman's girls from him. Somebody do that, I wanna see that now.

**Reviews:**

Nightwing: You know, it's a really strange feeling having people beg for updates...

Any_way_, enjoy! ;D

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><p><em><strong>Not So Naïve Anymore<strong>_

_Chapter 3_

I checked my phone for the time again. 5:40. Not much time had passed, and it was still early to head to Shakey's, but I was antsy and it wouldn't hurt to get there early, so I suggested that we might as well head over there.

We were still ten minutes early when we got there, so we settled into a booth big enough for six, with Kenny and Sally on either side of me, leaving the opposite side of the table empty and waiting for our potential extra guests.

We chatted idly, and I went ahead and told them of my idea for weekly meetings with all the girls, preceded by meetings with just the two of them. We were just getting a refill on breadsticks when Lexus slid into the booth, followed by Mercedes and Porsche.

Kenny grinned widely and mischievously at the girls, "Hello, ladies!" They giggled in return.

I grinned at them as well, "Hey, girls! I'm glad you all decided to join us!"

Porsche was the first to speak up, "Well, at first we weren't sure, but Lexus talked us into it."

"Well, I'm glad she did. I really think we can help each other out."

They giggled again, and the waiter came to get drink orders for our new arrivals and inform us that our pizzas would be out shortly. We had gone ahead and ordered when we got there, figuring everyone likes pepperoni or, if not, cheese, and it would save time.

"Alright, oh jeez, where to start…" I pondered for a moment, "Hmm… Oh! Um, I already have everyone's phone numbers; and Lexus, I have your address now, but Mercedes and Porsche, if I could go ahead and get that from you two, that would be great." I turned to my right, "Kenny?"

"Oh, right. Here," he said in response, and pulled the notebook and pen back out, handing it across the table.

"Sure thing," said Mercedes, grabbing said notebook.

"Mm, and Kenny, when they're done, go ahead and, uh, add your own and mine to that list as well." He nodded, and I added, rolling my eyes, "Heh, I dunno why we didn't do that in the first place. Then I wanna hand the list around so everyone can get everyone else's numbers, especially mine and Kenny's."

Everyone had just finished up and Sally was just passing the notebook back to Kenny when our pizzas arrived.

"Now that that's taken care of…" As we all got settled with a piece, I continued the discussion, clearing aside the small talk, "I know this isn't exactly the best place for this particular topic of discussion, which is why after we eat I wanted to relocate to Kenny's house, if that's alright with you, Kenny. I'd say my place, but, uh… I really don't think that would be a good idea right now. My parents are likely mad enough at me as it is. I don't need to know what would happen if, after already having run off without sayin' anything and ignoring them, I came back with a bunch of girls they don't know… and Kenny."

"Oh, yeah, of course we can use my place. I wouldn't want to see that either. Nobody at my house pays enough attention for it to matter what we do there," Kenny offered between bites.

"Thanks, Ken. But while we're here, we do all need to eat, and there are a couple of matters we can touch on here without bein' too conspicuous. First, I will need copies of your work schedules for those of you currently with a job, whenever you can get those to me," I said, looking pointedly at the three across from me.

Porsche answered for the trio, "Sure, we can get those to you when they come out Wednesday. They don't usually change much week to week."

"Good. As for me, not necessarily right away, but at least after graduation, I will be gettin' a day job, and I suggest doin' the same for the rest of you, if you wish, though it's not necessary. Nothin' big, just somethin' of a cover job," I suggested. "Also, the money. I know that is a big part of this. I'm not gonna do that stupid holdin'-onto-everybody's-money thing I did last time. That's pretty silly, if you ask me. Trust is a two-way street, and you should get to keep the money you earn. I'll have to get back to you on the details, though, once I figure that all out, so I'll be discussin' that later with each of you individually and in depth."

They all nodded, and Kenny mumbled, "I suppose you'll be looking for my help with that."

"Mhmm, but I will also be 'shopping around', if you will; researching." I paused for pizza. "Okay, next item. Um, this is quite the subject change, but really it's the only thing left we can really talk about before havin' to head back to Kenny's. Um, when we get back to school, please don't tell people that _I'm_ your pimp," I gave them a pained look as they all tried to hold back giggles. "I mean, seriously, if you wanna tell people what you're doin', that is your business, but try to leave my name out of it."

Kenny couldn't contain his laughter anymore, and in the midst of his cracking up, he managed to get out, "Oh. My. God, it would break the school!"To which the rest of the girls also lost it.

Of course, by this point, I could barely keep from laughing myself, and spat out, "Exactly! Which is why we can't tell anyone!" before succumbing and letting my head fall to the table. It was one of those awesome hilarious moments in which the following ten minutes we couldn't figure out _why_ we couldn't stop laughing; we just couldn't.

After finally clearing away all the laughter and catching our breath, I had to make sure that, despite the hilarity of the idea, they all knew I was actually serious about not letting rumors fly about this at school. They all nodded weakly at me in agreement, trying desperately not to let any more giggles loose. "Good, we appear to have an understanding. Although, I guess it is good to know that if we ever did want to bring down our school's social system into disorder, we do have the perfect ammunition for it. But that's beside the point. I don't really want to break the entire school's perception of me; I mean, heck, I've already broken Kenny's."

"Yeah, I get what you mean. It'd be funny as hell to watch, though," Kenny said.

"True, but that's not what we're here for. We are here to make some money and be the best damn hookers around."

"Hell yeah, we are!" Kenny's good at being there to interject with helpful, enthusiastic remarks. It adds to my confidence in having picked him as my go-to girl. He sparks enthusiasm in the rest of my girls, and that's good for anyone to have.

"On the other hand, while I _don't_ want gossip of this spreadin' around school, I _do_ want it on the streets. I want everyone involved in the business to know that Butters' girls are the best girls. Let them know, when you're out there, who you work for, and what you think of me," I encouraged.

"Okay, yeah, I see. We can do that. Right, ladies?" Mercedes asked around.

"Yup! Gossip is our thang!" Porsche confirmed.

"Good, good. Just remember to only gossip in the right places," I reminded.

"Right, of course! We know how to gossip properly," Lexus assured.

"I'm sure you do," I agreed. "Well, if everyone's done eatin', I say we head out. We've still got a number of things to talk about that are less than public-friendly." They agreed, I paid the check, and we all piled into our cars, the three who met us there following separately in their car back to Kenny's place.

Shortly we were strewn about Kenny's room ready to get back down to business.

I stole the desk chair and they gave me the floor to speak, "There are a few things we all need to take care of before I let _anybody_ work. First and foremost, your safety. You will all be tested regularly for STDs, startin' now. I already asked Kenny about it on the way here, and they are open on the weekends, and they do take walk-ins, so tomorrow we will all be goin' to get tested, myself included. Unfortunately, since we're just startin' out, I am gonna have to ask you to cover the costs of these tests out of pocket for now. Once we start bringin' somethin' in, you will be compensated. And this _is_ mandatory. I will not allow you to work for me without havin' been tested and cleared first. Understand?"

I was met with the general response that, yes, they understood and had no issues with it, so I continued, "Good. We've decided to work from here, at Kenny's, for now until we can work somethin' better out. Meaning until I can move out of my parents' house. That means we will meet here tomorrow at noon, if that works for everybody, and head to the clinic from here. That work for everybody?"

Again, a general 'yes'. "Now, we won't get the results back for about a week, so that's essentially a week with no income. Therefore, during that time I will have Kenny, and _only_ Kenny, work, since he tested clean just a few weeks ago. Otherwise, I will spend that week settin' up a schedule and fixin' a budget. After that, the fun begins!" I teased with a wink. "And by 'fun' I mean 'training', of course! Um, this question is a bit embarrassing to answer, but otherwise necessary. I need to know what kind of sexual experience y'all have. I know Kenny's is extensive, and I'll be upfront and tell y'all straight out that I'm a virgin. Not that my level of experience matters. But I need to know what we're workin' with here. So?" I asked, looking around to each of them.

A blush had settled all around, except for Kenny, as each girl answered the all-too-important question of experience.

"Just once," was Sally's quiet response.

"One guy, a handful of times," Lexus continued around the circle.

"Four guys, once or twice each," Porsche offered.

And last in our group, Mercedes answered, "Um, two guys, just once each."

It had come back to me, "Okay, so that means everyone's at least got somethin' under their belt. That's good; that's easier to work with. That doesn't mean training won't still be happenin'. When the time comes for that, when the test results are in, I'll be leavin' that up to Kenny to teach y'all and show you the ropes."

Leave it to Kenny to jump in there, "Oh, goody! That means I get to sleep with _all _these lovely ladies?"

I blinked at him, face deadpanned, "You… you knew that… Please tell me you knew that. I may not have told you, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew that."

He looked back at me before giving a sheepish laugh, "Ahehe, yeah, guess I did, kinda. Sorry, got a little excited there."

I snickered at him, "It's fine. Good to see such enthusiasm for your job, I suppose."

"It's true, I love what I do!"

"Don't we all know it. But that comes later in the week. Hmm, what else…?" I asked myself, tapping my fingers.

"Working names?" Kenny suggested. "They're good to have."

"Ooh, yes! That's kinda a fun one! Aliases, what would y'all like 'em to be?"

"Well, I already have one, since I've already been on the streets for a while. They know me as Kitty or Kitty Kay."

I giggled at him, "Cute. I like it. And the rest of you?"

Porsche spoke up, "Well, technically, we already have them, too. Porsche, Lexus, and Mercedes aren't our real names, and I'm not all too sure how people came to think that they were."

"Well, you know how this town is. You never know," Sally provided in excuse. "So, what _are_ your names? I don't think anybody knows."

"I'm Patricia, Lexus is Leanne, and Mercedes is Megan."

"Well, then. That's nice to know," I told them. "That's fine, then. You three can keep those as your workin' names if you want. So, the only one who needs to come up with one now is Sally. What say you, Sally?"

"Hmm," she thought for a minute or two. "How about Lacy? I like that."

"Sure, that sounds nice."

Kenny snickered.

"What?"

He snickered again, "You just flipped your name, didn't you?"

Sally turned a little pink, "…Yeah, so? It works, doesn't it?"

Kenny held up his hands, "Okay, yes, it does. It's a very sexy pick, especially if you wear lace when you use it."

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind," she said complacently.

"Okay," I interrupted their light bickering. "I think that's everything I wanted to mention for now. Anything more in depth will come later in the week. The only thing left that I can think of is that, when you're out there, use common sense and be safe. You do reserve the right to deny service to anyone you see fit, and I don't want to see any of you gettin' hurt because you were afraid to use that right. I also shouldn't have to say this, but just as a reminder, remember to _always_ use a condom. If your john has one, great, but otherwise make sure you're always carryin' extras. Lube would probably also be a good idea to have on you. You ladies might wanna look into birth control, too. Uh, that's less a suggestion and more just somethin' you really should do. In fact, I think I'm gonna make that required, as well. If you're not already on it, y'all really ought to try to take care of that sometime in the next week. I guess if you just bring me some kind of proof that you're on the pill when I meet with each of you later next week, that'll be fine. So, um, are there any questions? Is everyone clear on everything so far?"

"Yeah, I think so," Sally nodded. "For now, we just need to meet up here at noon tomorrow, and then take care of birth control and work schedules while you figure out the business stuff."

"Nicely summed up. Yuppers, that's about it for now."

"In that case, I think we should head out. It's almost seven and we need to get ready for work," Porsche said, getting up and stretching a little.

"That's fine. We're done with you girls for tonight, anyhow," I told them. "I'm gonna stick around for a bit to get started on the plannin'. Sally, I'd like you to stay and help, as well."

"Can do," she agreed.

"Good. So, I guess we will see you three tomorrow, then," I told the trio, getting up along with everyone else to see them out. They left for work, and the rest of us settled back down to start to get a handle on the operation. We ended up hanging around at Kenny's until 11pm working on figuring some of the numbers we needed, listing various relevant things for me to look up when I was back home and had access to a computer, overall making great use of that notebook, and then just spending some time to hang out and get to know each other better.

It was ten after eleven when I quietly pushed open the front door in vain attempt to quickly and silently slink up to my room unnoticed, and was instantly greeted by angry, yelling parents. I continued to ignore them, and slunk my way up to my room anyway, only dropping the "unnoticed" part of that plan, and went straight to bed. I had stayed awake a bit later than I was used to already, and I knew Saturday was going to be a busy day, even if it wasn't going to start all that early.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings:** HOLY- guys, I am sorry. When I said "later than I wanted", I meant like a month or two, not nearly _six._ RL struck again. It's good though, cuz I got a job! It just kinda took me this long to work something out so I could get any writing at all done on anything. But now that I have, it appears to be working just swell. ^_^ Also, the bit at the start about the laws is completely true. I've said it before, I'll say it again: prostitution. procon. org is your friend. It is wonderfully fascinating.

Oh! And I got a twitter! So, if you care to see what kind of progress I'm making, or come kick my butt when I'm not, you can now! SPFratParty

**Reviews:**

Scarlet Wolf: Ahahaha! No seriously, that was my initial reaction to seeing that. Don't worry about it, I'm not insulted. :) It probably sounds researched because it is, I did spend a lot of time on that. I have no idea if pimp conventions are real, I took that straight from the show. Oh, and RL = real life.

Xx8BlueMoon8xX: I have to thank you hugely for this. Not only did you review on my birthday, making it just that much more awesome, but you kind of kickstarted me back into gear on this story. Of course, then I got that job and this got pushed back again by several months, but the initial motivation to get going again came from that review. So thank you.

Sunshine-aki: Ah, god, I'm just glad people like it! Thanks!

Without further ado, have a chapter!

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><p><em><strong>Not So Naïve Anymore<strong>_

_Chapter 4_

I ended up getting up around 8am that Saturday and spent the morning researching the things on my list. They were mostly things to help me generally learn about prostitution, and the most important was for me to look up the laws on it in our state. I had known from the start that what I was getting into was illegal, but I found it useful to know just _how_ illegal, _how_ deep I was digging myself with this little project of mine.

Turns out it's a pretty hefty penalty for pimps.

But that didn't get me so much as the difference in sentence for pimps versus brothel owners. Most other states have them listed the same, or at least close. It's pretty much just Colorado that appears to be so much more lenient towards brothel owners. Because, really, when it comes down to it, what's the difference? Does this state think just because a brothel is run out of a house, and is considered "classier", that they're not doing the same things there as a pimp-run operation? It's still prostitution.

Whatever, I'd just have to be careful. I now have the laws printed out and taped up, among some other things, on the wall in my office to always remind myself and the girls to be careful and aware of the possible consequences. To be informed is half the battle. How can we be safe in what we do if we don't know the risks involved?

But it did give me an idea. There was no way I could start a brothel at the time, or even now really, but if I could manage to later, it would save me from the higher price on a technicality. There's a big difference between a misdemeanor and a felony on your record. I've been pretty good at avoiding either of them so far, but if I do get caught, I'd rather continue to avoid the felony.

So I stored that little piece of information away for later and continued with my research. It was around 11am when I looked up to find that my explorations of the subject had sucked me in for three hours. I put it all aside for the time being, showered, made sure I had everything I needed, and headed over to meet everyone.

My parents tried to stop me from leaving again. I recall standing in the doorway, saying something along the lines of, "That's right, I've been a bad boy, and I am grounded mister! But I have shit to do, so I'll be going now. Don't wait up, I may or may not be home tonight," before slamming the door behind me.

I got to Kenny's early – I knew it was important that I be the first there – and chatted with the other blond as we waited on his front steps for the girls to show. When all had arrived, we made our way to the clinic.

The people there were (and still are) all very kind. They more or less know us there by now, but even then they strove for confidentiality and providing a non-judgmental atmosphere. They took care of exactly what we needed without question, and in a matter of a couple of hours we were done and parting ways with our Raisins/Hooters crew, who, once again, had to leave us for their regular jobs.

The rest of us went back to Kenny's to pick back up where we had left off the night before. Then after it had gotten dark, we decided to hit the streets for some of that "researching" I had mentioned previously. When you're just getting started in _any_ business, it's important to know the market before just jumping into it. So we drove around downtown South Park for a few hours, learning the better locations, the price ranges, the competition; anything useful we could find out from this outing.

About an hour into it, we found a good spot and dropped Kenny off so he could work some while Sally and I continued. He called us a few hours later so we could go get him, and he handed me a wad of cash. By that point, we had more or less figured out our percentage cuts (10% would go to me personally, 20% I would hold for the group as a whole, and the rest would go back to the girl who earned it), so I counted out my share and handed the rest back to Kenny.

After a full and productive Saturday evening, Sally and I ended up crashing at Kenny's. We parted ways the next morning so we could spend Sunday at home. After all, I did still have homework to do, and besides that, I figured I should probably spend at least some time with my parents. No need to get them scared thinking they've lost me to… whatever the news is saying the latest teen fad is to scare parents. 'Cause whatever it is, it's not what I'm doing. No, mom, I'm not freaking "cheesing", jeez.

So, Sunday was uneventful, but that was okay. I was more anxious for what Monday would bring. And bring it did.

The day _almost_ started out like normal. I got up, got ready, ate breakfast, grabbed my stuff, and went to wait at the bus stop.

That's where it got different.

I had almost forgotten everything from the weekend as I stood by the sign a short distance away from the rest of the usual group (the one everyone knew as "Stan and those guys"), when Kenny broke away from them to come sidling up to me and plant a welcome kiss on my cheek.

I was briefly surprised before it all came back to me and my face melted into a knowing smile, "Mornin', Kenny."

There was a short silence, Stan and Kyle simply raised their eyebrows at us and then went back to their conversation, Cartman shouted out something homophobic while everyone else ignored him, and Kenny just winked as the bus stop settled back into relative normality.

Or so I thought. Before long, a small, dark pink Madza Miata with the top down was rolling up in front of the stop. A far-too-chipper-for-that-time-of-the-morning redhead called out to me, "Hey sweetie! Need a lift?"

Wide-eyed, Kenny and I looked at each other, then smiled. I nodded toward the car for him to come with, and we hopped into the little two-seater, me in the passenger's seat and him perched on top of the open back. Lexus leaned over from the driver's side and also greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. As we took off in the direction of the school, I tried to ignore the looks on the faces of those we had left behind. This was definitely going to spread quickly. But we would just let them come up with their own stories.

We got to school and were joined by Mercedes and Porsche on our way through the parking lot. Lastly, we picked up Sally as we passed by the bus drop where she had just gotten dropped off.

We had, of course, beaten most to the school. There was still almost half an hour before classes began, so our entrance was lost on the mostly empty hallways. Still, to the few there, it did have to look like I had suddenly and strangely grown my own posse over the weekend. While that is kind of admittedly what had happened, it definitely had to be odd to see that surrounding me. I was, after all, far from popular all through my school years.

I allowed these thoughts and the happiness of guiding my own life to where I wanted it to be to wash over me as we made our way through the halls, hit our lockers in turn, and finally settled on the floor near my own to wait out the bell. I normally hung out in the choir room before class, but the only other one allowed in there would have been Kenny, and besides, we all wanted to see how certain people would react to my apparent new posse.

We passed the time studying for a quiz in the Algebra II class most of us shared later in the morning. Soon enough, the halls filled and many of our friends quickly surrounded us after spotting us from the nearby lockers.

"Whoa," Kyle's voice was the first thing to make me look up.

Though Cartman's quickly followed, "What the fuck? What the fuck, Butters, what. The fuck."

I ignored that in favor of my usual greeting, "Well, hey there, fellas!" I exclaimed with a wave and a bright smile. "How was y'all's weekend?"

"Um, not as good as yours, apparently," Stan offered. "Uh, not to back Cartman up on anything, ever, but I _gotta_ know this is all about," he questioned, gesturing broadly at all of us strewn about the floor.

I offered a look of complete innocence with a dash of confusion in return.

Fortunately, Kenny fielded the actual answering, "It's about, we all had a thing over the weekend and, after spending some time together there, we decided we should all hang out more."

"Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I was wondering what all that at the bus stop was about," Kyle said, adding curiously, "So, what was the thing?"

Damn it.

"Yeah, what thing?" Cartman tacked on suspiciously.

Double damn it.

While I quickly ran through my brain searching for something that might interest all of us, yet bore the other guys, Sally seemed to come up with a suitable response, "Oh, just some poppy music festival thing. Bunch of local, unheard-of singer-songwriters. Real tiny. Wasn't really advertised, I'm not really even sure how I heard about it."

"Yeah," Kenny chimed in. "Me and Butters only knew about it, and really only even went, 'cause of choir. But we all found each other and stuck together 'cause we were the only people there any of us even kind of knew, and it turned out to be a lot of fun."

"Oh, god! Freaking hippies! All of you! I'm surrounded by dirty, freaking hippies!" In case you couldn't tell who that was, that was Cartman yelling about hippies. Anyway, he ranted a little more before turning heal and storming off, shouting out as he left, "Screw you guys! I'm going home!"

Kyle stalked after him, yelling at his back, "No, you're not, asshole! Class hasn't even started yet!" And then they were gone, disappeared into the crowd.

We all looked warily after them for a moment, then Stan turned back to us, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Aheh, I should probably, uh… go make sure they don't kill each other…" he slowly trailed off before wandering off after them.

Diversion successful.

And at least now we were all on the same page, alibi-wise. Though, we weren't out of the woods yet. Several others had witnessed the exchange, though most seemed satisfied by the answers given in said exchange and carried on with their morning routines.

Craig stepped up after the others had gone and simply raised an eyebrow at us as Tweek stood shivering next to him looking extremely worried with his wide eyes. When Craig did nothing more than acknowledge us with his middle finger before heading to class early, Tweek shrieked and chased after him. "Oh god, Craig! How can you just walk away? Aren't you, _ngh_, worried? This is huge! Something major must have happened! _Gah!_ It's a conspiracy! I bet the government brainwashed them all so they could interfere with our lives! Oh god, it must have happened at that concert! Sweet Jesus, what if you're next? What if _I'm _next? Jesus Christ, Craig, whatever you do, don't take me to any concerts…" and that's about where his voice melted into the chatter. Though I knew he was nowhere near done, and Craig would just silently listen and let him get the whole thing out.

Next up were Wendy and Bebe. Wendy didn't actually stop, just kind of glanced our way as she passed us by. Bebe, however, was instantly distracted. She seemed highly intrigued by who I had suddenly decided to surround myself with.

"Wow, Butters, gettin' around, huh?" she said with appraising eyes.

"Hehe, yeah, I g-guess so, Bebe."

"Hey, Bebe," I heard Kenny practically purr from next to me. "Might I say, you look absolutely gorgeous today. As you do every day, of course," he added, looking her body up and down in a very obvious manner.

She giggled, of course, as is the only proper response when the subject of one Kenneth McCormick's flirtations. "Hey, Kenny. So, this is new. It looks like something fun happened and I missed out on it!" I could hear the pout. "Ooh, better yet, is it _still _happening, and _can_ I get in on it?"

My eyes widened and I shared a look with Kenny. She had no idea what it was she was trying to get in on. Yet here she was, trying anyway. And if she wanted to try anyway, without knowing what it was, why not give her that shot? I shrugged, looking back at her, "Well, sure, Bebe. I mean, if you really wanna. I think we were gonna try an' get together again later this week. Like, Wednesday or somethin', right guys?"

"Yeah, Wednesday would be good. That's when our schedules come out, anyway, remember?" Porsche supplied.

"Oh, yeah. That's right. Thanks, Porsche." I turned back to Bebe, "So, yeah, Wednesday, it looks like. How 'bout we all meet over at Kenny's right after school? Or, actually, I know me an' Kenny have 6th off. Anyone else?"

"Yep, same here," said Sally.

"Yeah, we all have 6th off, too."

"That's great! Bebe?"

"Oh! Y-yeah, me too!"

"Perfect! So, we'll all just head straight over to Kenny's right after 5th on Wednesday."

"Sounds good to me," said Kenny.

"Works for us."

Sally nodded.

"Okay, sure. Sounds fun, I can't wait! I better go catch up to Wendy, but I'll see you all Wednesday!"

We watched Bebe bounce away until she was out of earshot. Without turning, I quietly made a suggestion, "Somebody wants to tell that girl what exactly it is that she just got herself into, be my guest."

"Personally, I think it'd be more fun to let her sit on it, and find out Wednesday the same way we did; when you go from Butters the Innocent to Butters the Mega-Pimp," was Kenny's input.

I shrugged, "Mm, whatever, 's your prerogative."

"I say, did you just say what I think you just said?"

My head snapped up in the direction of the accented voice to find Pip staring at, well, _me_ with a rather curious look mixed with mild shock on his face. My eyes remained wide and unblinking as I attempted to keep my face blank, "Um, no?"

He tilted his head, "Are you quite sure? I haven't even told you what I heard."

"No, I'm pretty sure I've got a good idea of what it was."

"I suggest you go ahead and forget whatever it was you think you heard," Kenny said, making a move to stand.

But instead, Pip beat him to the punch by promptly shucking his backpack and sitting down in front of me. All this as he quickly said, "No, see, that's just it. I _can't_ forget when it's exactly what I've been looking for." He just as quickly looked around after he said it, wary of who else might accidentally hear certain parts of this conversation. I looked with him, and fortunately nobody was too close to us anymore.

"Um, w-what do you mean, Pip?" I was really not sure what to think at this point.

"Well, you see, I haven't the money to continue my education at university, and I don't have any sort of job lined up for after high school, nor did I have any idea as to what kind of work I should do. That is, until recently. You see, yours is a profession I quite admire, actually. I find it is a livelihood that holds a certain appeal, an attraction to it that draws me in. So, given some thought, I had only just decided to seek it out, rather than push it away or try to ignore it."

"Man," Kenny said. "I think I just learned more about you in two minutes than I did in a decade of knowing you (more than I maybe _wanted_ to know). Damnit, that's twice in one week now. That's not fair. I feel like I don't know anybody anymore."

"Aw, Kenny, you know me plenty," I gave him a shoulder hug.

"Yeah, _now._"

I sighed and turned back to Pip, "Um, we are on the same page here, are we not?"

"Oh, yes, I quite believe so. You are a pimp, are you not?" He didn't actually give me the chance to answer that. I think he figured I would interrupt if he was wrong, and since obviously he wasn't, obviously I didn't. "Had you perhaps approached me on the subject, or had I heard about it any other way, I might have been inclined to think it not true, or that if it was, you would surely not last. But if you already have _Kenny,_ as well as these fine ladies, under your wing… _And_ they are giving you _praise_… Well, I should imagine you are quite excellent at what you do."

"Aw, shucks. I'm only just startin' out…"

"And you are already at this point," he reminded, as though I was just further helping his case. "Anyway, I suppose I shall get to the point. I should very much appreciate the opportunity if you would have me in your crew."

I stammered for a moment, unable to form an immediate response, looking back and forth between Pip and Kenny. Finally I managed to say, "If that's what you want to do, who am I to stop you? If you're gonna do it anyway, I may as well help you. We'd love to have you on! Um, did you hear any of what we said to Bebe?"

"Oh, thank you! Ah- no, I'm afraid not."

"Okay, we're all meeting at Kenny's after school Wednesday to go over some things. Do you have 6th free?"

"I do."

"Great, just meet us around here as soon as you get out, and we can all head over there together. That good for you?"

"Yes, that would be good. Is there anything you want me to do before then?"

"Oh, hey. Here, I got that notebook," Kenny said, getting up and pulling said notebook out of his locker. "Just stick your number and address right there."

As Pip did so, I remembered something else, "Hey, Ken, you got the address for that clinic? I want him to go ahead and take care of that, too."

"Oh, yeah, it's, um…" He dug around a bit. "Ahah! Here, business card," he declared, handing it down to Pip, who just looked at it for a moment, unsure.

"It's one of two requirements I have, and the other doesn't apply to you. Go get yourself tested, make sure you're clean, and then bring me the results when you get them back. It'll take about a week, so it's best to get a jump on it."

"Ah," understanding dawned, "yes, of course. Absolutely. I shall take care of that this afternoon."

"Perfect! So, we'll see you Wednesday, then," I smiled.

"Yes! Wednesday," he smiled back. As he left, I could tell he was greatly anticipating our next meeting, and felt happy for him, as I did for all of us.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings: **Eh, fer cryin' out loud. I don't even have an excuse. Sorry for making you wait way too long. They've finally finished expanding/remodeling the library (and it looks amazing!), so maybe I can manage to force myself over there to write more often. The only warning I have for this chapter is that not nearly enough of consequence happens, and Kenny and Pip are far too conspiratorial.

**Reviews: **

Special thanks to Ciccialine for your help with the pricing. Wasn't planning on asking how you know, but it is about what I figured they would be.

Scarlet Wolf: Nope! Not dead! Just a very slow writer. And yes, more blondes. Always more blondes.

Everyone Else: Thanks for reading and reviewing, guys! Pff, "slut-Pip". I wondered how y'all would react to that.

I really am glad other people think this was a good idea. Remember, I always plan on continuing, even if it takes me a while.

* * *

><p><em><em><strong>Not So Naïve Anymore<strong>__

_Chapter 5_

Not much more of consequence happened before class, or for the rest of the day, for that matter. Oh, sure, throughout the morning I had people staring at us funny, or coming up to ask what was up. But not much else. Of course, from the moment I set foot in school, there was no more of that silly forgetting what had changed over the weekend. It was clear that something had to everyone around us, so how could I forget again? But at the same time, they very quickly went through the phases of acknowledging and accepting and moving on.

That was the thing with our school. Well, actually, same could be said of our whole town. Something _huge_ could happen, and while they might react equally hugely at first, just a little bit later the people would just look back at it and say, "Eh, it's South Park. Crazy shit happens all the time." So, by the time lunch had even rolled around, it was already old news. Still, that didn't make lunch any less… different.

I made an entrance. _I_ made an _Entrance._ With a capital "E". I've since made many, but at the time, that was my first one ever. Damn if I wasn't nervous as all heck.

Okay, so that might be a bit of an exaggeration. It's not like the entire cafeteria halted all movement and sound for me. Still, I did manage to turn heads where normally no one noticed me at all, so that was something.

Under Kenny's persuasion, I had arrived late to lunch, Sally and Kenny flanking me as I attempted confidence walking through the main double-doors. The other girls were already there, reserving a table, so we wouldn't have to waste any time looking for a place to sit.

We filtered through the food line and marched straight past the table with Cartman and everyone, where me and Kenny usually sat, to the table just beyond, where Mercedes was cheerfully waving us down (I think she even called out my name a couple times). Most of the other kids at our old table had gotten over the change from that morning and were unconcerned with the lunchtime change that came with it.

Kyle, Stan, Wendy, and Craig all simply spared us a glance and perhaps a nod and went on with their lunch. Cartman was furiously and obnoxiously ignoring us. Tweek was still staring at us as if the world was coming undone and we were the ones causing it. Clyde was too focused on his own issues to even notice that anything was different. Token, who hadn't seen me yet that day, but had likely heard, stared in surprise as if he hadn't expected to actually see the phenomenon in person. He quickly sobered though, as he doesn't like to poke his nose into other people's business. Quite the opposite of Bebe, who also stared openly at us. She watched in delight as we moved by, and as soon as we sat down, she jumped up, grabbed her food, and ran around their table to come sit at ours.

I settled down between Kenny and Sally, across from Porsche, Mercedes, and Lexus, beside whom Bebe had by then appeared. I could see the whole cafeteria from there, and as I glanced around the room, my eyes landed on a certain lonely looking British blond eating alone at a table on the outer edge.

I nudged Kenny on my left. "Tsk, go get him," I told him, point to Pip.

Following my gaze, he quickly understood what I meant and rose to do as I had asked with no more than a nod and a grin. I watched him cross the lunch room, and Pip looked up as he approached. Kenny leaned across his table in a familiar manner and looked to all the world to be flirting with the other, chatting him up. Pip soon flustered, cheeks coloring just a bit, but just as soon, he was smiling, nodding, gathering his things, standing, and following.

I, too, smiled at this success. If he was going to be part of this group, I wanted him to feel just as accepted as I had come to feel from it.

When they rejoined us, I greeted the British boy, and the girls all followed my lead. Except for Bebe, who tilted her head inquisitively at him, "Oh. Pip, too?"

"Yup!" Kenny declared, happily patting said boy on the back. "He's our newest recruit. We don't discriminate around here."

"That's right," I smiled. Catching Pip's eye, I added with a wink, "As long as you're any good, we'll keep you 'round."

He glanced away a little bashfully, "Well, I shall certainly try my best so that I might stay as long as I can." He paused, glanced back up at me, the carefully added with a shy, yet sly smile, "Daddy."

And our whole table went quiet.

I was completely flustered. I'm certain I was a tomato with a fish mouth. Kenny grinning wildly at me like that didn't help. Pip hid again by poking at his food with a bashful smirk and a bit of a blush covering his own face. Bebe must have been confused out of her mind, but I don't think anybody was going to help her out at that point, and I guess she could tell that because she didn't say anything either. The rest of the girls were content with tossing all kinds of small smiles and smirks and raised eyebrows and looks all over the table to convey what all of us "in the know" were thinking.

Eventually, when it was clear nobody was going to say anything about it, we all kind of just left it at that and focused instead on our food.

Finally, after a while, Kenny blurted out, as if the conversation had never stopped, "Well, okay, y'know, 'Daddy' doesn't really feel right, but it does bring up a good point. What _should_ we call you? For that matter, Pip needs a nickname. And so does Bebe."

I looked up towards Kenny with a raised eyebrow and a "hm?" as Pip gave a very enthusiastic "oh, yes!" And very soon the conversation was in Pip and Kenny's hands. I believe I would call it "conspiring", what they were doing over there, right next to me. Among the excited whispering and giggling coming from my side, I did hear the words "daddy", "sugar", "bitches", and even my first name. It worried me, but I forced myself not to pay much attention to it. I kind of had to figure it would work itself out.

Meanwhile, Bebe was finally trying to figure out what was going on. I could hear her asking the girls on the other side of the table with her, "Nicknames? Why do we need nicknames?" And the girls trying to explain away some excuse without really giving anything away just yet, "Well, we just thought it would be cool! Y'know, have little nicknames that only we would use for each other, or something…" They weren't really doing a good job of that. But that was okay. I knew none of them really wanted to be the ones to tell her something like that. Besides, the school cafeteria wasn't exactly the best place, either.

So I sat back with my lunch and basked in being around the people who I had become close to so quickly; with whom I would likely be spending a very long time in even closer capacity than I could yet imagine.

A little while later, towards the end of our next class, I found out that I had been right to worry about the whole nickname thing. Seems Pip and Kenny had launched a plan to figure that out. It was Physics, and everyone from our little group except for Pip shared it with me. So when the teacher allowed us to group off and study/do homework for the last bit of the period, I was practically swarmed by the girls. I may not have forgotten what I had become, but it was still a shock to now be popular in a sense. I was usually left to myself at that time, but not today. I don't think Kenny would ever allow that again.

"Hey there, Lolli," Kenny grinned at me like he was playing a prank and trying not to laugh. And kind of failing. At both.

"W-what?" It was almost less of a question and more of a demand that left my lips. I was not a lolli.

"Me and Pip are just trying some things out, see if they work. We figure this'll help us figure out what to call you."

"Rriight. Well, it's not gonna be 'Lolli'. I get that ya can't call me 'Butters', but c'mon."

"Alright, alright," Kenny held up his hands in surrender. "Not 'Lolli'. Sugar?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Sugar-Tits."

I deadpanned.

"Fine. Yes, I'm kidding. Gawd."

"Look, can we just… not do this right now? This is gonna be a long rest of the class if you keep this up the whole time," I told him, and we managed to get to the end of the period with only a few more "suggestions".

I don't remember everything those two came up within the next few days in their quest, but none of them were the answer. By the time we all met up again on Wednesday, I had been called so many ridiculous things, it was... ridiculous. Most of which were met with a general, resounding, "No. Absolutely not."

Let's see, Buttercup and Buttman, which were supposed to be derivatives of my name. Clueless, which, okay, I see that they were trying to be ironic there, but nobody's gonna get that. Crazy Eight got thrown in at some point, I know, which literally had nothing to do with anything, and really just made me further question the sanity of my staff. Marjorine and Professor Chaos even came up, but of course, I was trying to create a _new_ persona, not revert to an old comfort zone, so that got them nowhere. And so, so many more.

Finally Wednesday afternoon had arrived, and Kenny and Pip had nearly exhausted their supply of horrible nicknames. The three of us had caught a ride in Lexus's Miata, while the rest of the girls went in Porsche's car to meet us there.

Basically, by this point, those two conspiring blonds weren't paying attention to a whole lot more than staying attached to me while spouting out "ideas". They perched in the non-seat space of the car behind Lexus and myself, leaning down on the shoulders of the seats.

They were going through a food-themed list now, and it still wasn't really working.

"Ooh! White Chocolate!"

"Kenny, what in the hell kind of _name_ is that. You know you're not actually going to _call _anyone that."

"He's got a point. How about Cherry?"

"Pip, that is a girl's name."

"Fine."

"Berry."

"Do I strike you as a berry? Like, I mean, I _gueeeess_. Sounds too much like Barry, with an 'a', though."

"Hmm. Jelly?"

"Kenny, why is it that you can't seem to come up with anything anyone would use as a name?"

"Marmalade."

"That's… not really any better, Pip. I appreciate the effort, though."

"Peaches."

"…"

"Peaches 'n _Cream_."

"Kenny. No. Bad Kitty."

"Aw."

"Guys?"

"Banana."

"Okay, Pip? You're not doing any better than Kenny now."

"Coconut."

"Will you guys get off the fruit thing already?"

"Guys."

"Okay, Chicken."

"_Really?_"

"Heh, no, not really."

"How about Lemon?"

"That's still a fruit. Better, but still fruit."

"Guys!"

"What?"

"We're here."

"Oh."

We piled out of her car and into Kenny's bedroom. The blonds kept going, but I began tuning them out again at that point. I took my seat in the middle of Kenny's bed as he flopped behind me. Lexus took the desk chair, and Pip perched on the edge of the bed. I crossed my legs as I pulled out the notebook, now accompanied by a folder.

I paused then. Suddenly, I turned to Kenny, "Wait, what was that?"

"What, Soy?" he asked incredulously.

"No, no. Before that."

"Oh, Vanilla."

"Yes, that one! I like that one."

"My Vanilla Pimp," Lexus said, trying it out. "I like it."

"Right," I was glad to finally put an end to that. "So, no more spreading Butters—" Kenny interrupted with a loud snort. I gave him a blank look and continued, "There was too much risk of that leading back to me outside of the underground, anyway. Not to encourage your incorrigibleness, but that was a good idea, to come up with something different, that nobody else knows me by."

Kenny and Pip beamed.

"So…" We were still waiting for the others, and I wasn't really sure where to go from there. I looked back down at the notebook.

"Oh!" Lexus interjected into the silence, "Our schedules! Here. All three of us have the same hours, and it doesn't usually change much," she handed me a slip of paper.

I examined it, and cringed. I bit my lip and looked up at her, "You all work all night, Friday _and_ Saturday?"

I heard Kenny hiss behind me.

Lexus looked kind of sheepish as she answered, "Y-yeah, sorry. Those are the busiest times over there."

I sighed, "Yeah, I know. Which is why they're _also_ the busiest times on the streets… but I get it, it's fine," I assured, shaking my head slightly. "We can work around that. Y'all can work the weeknights, I'll just make sure everyone else is out there on the weekends."

"Oh my gosh, thank you, Butters! I'm _so_ sorry!" Lexus exclaimed. I smiled at her. She meant well.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" We looked to the room's exit as a shocked voice filtered in, and the rest of our group followed it in through the door. Apparently someone had finally figured out how to tell Bebe what exactly was going on over here. She met my eyes, and I raised my eyebrows at her. "You! Is it true? What's going on here?"

"Um…" I said brilliantly. "W-well, I can only assume that they told you the truth, so… yes?"

"For serious?! You're their pimp?!"

"Um… aheh… yup," I could only smile sheepishly at her.

But it turned out it wasn't so bad. The only thing she said at first was, "huh," before she dropped her bag distractedly onto the floor, and sank heavily into the first available seating she could find, which I guess was the end of the bed. She kind of zoned out there for a while, and we let her.

Without her, we went ahead and updated everyone on the "Vanilla Pimp" business, took care of scheduling and info, went over a few reminders and such, and basically wrapped up the entire meeting. Not too long after, and the rest of the girls were heading home. I asked Sally to hang around to help me and Kenny deal with Bebe, but otherwise, the main business had been taken care of. Now we just needed to console one more shocked blonde.


End file.
